Things I didn't know about parenting before it happened to me:
#1 The isolation is sometimes unbearable
People often say that when your child is born, your friends show their true colours. I wouldn't put it so harshly, lest I judge myself prior to becoming a parent as well. I mean, you simply don't get it unless you have a baby of your own. That's just the way it goes.
But yeah, it gets lonely. I am extremely lucky to have such a wonderful partner and the bond we've forged since Hadley was born is incredible and irreplaceable. We shouldn't rely on just each other, though, and we try to develop relationships outside the family circle.
- Going out is challenging. It's always nice to have guests. Especially those (you know who you are) who bring food and clean the house for us!
- I know some parents are spontaneous but man, it's not easy. I have come to appreciate the long-term plans with exact times. Totally different than the way I used to be, I'll grant you that.
- Another adage that is oft repeated is that parents tend to hang out with other parents. I think I agree, and it's practical form the point of view of the kids. Hadley prefers the company of those her age. But what if none of your close friends have kids? I don't want to lose them.
- The onus is ultimately upon me (us). Over the winter I've made some huge leaps in terms of what I do with Hadley on the weekends and how to make our time fun and busy and social. It requires considerable mental energy to push myself to just get out and call people and go to places she's never been and introduce her to new people. But it's so so so worth it.
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Hmm... I comment on the toys on the floor, and dance with your child.
ReplyDeleteTo use a(nother) Munrovian example, or maybe even that of your previous roommate, I guess one alternative (besides having better-coloured friends) is to share living space. That has its own complications, as you and I know.
Yes and no. I appreciate the insular family dynamic from time to time, but also crave company. It's a tough phase. Who knows how things will be in 10 years?
ReplyDeleteAlso, I wasn't referring to you (or anyone in particular for that matter), just bitching in general. You're a good uncle and I'm a reclusive buddy.
ReplyDeleteThere's nothing like a housing project to bring up your child if you're looking for other kids to be available (and come knocking at the door to play as time passes). And these kiddies usually have parents (one anyway), some of whom can become good friends.
ReplyDeleteGrandparents close by is a good thing.
A car also helps.