Educational or just a pain in the ass?

Yesterday at work a colleague explained to us that his son, at 8 months, had finally taken the bottle. I was immediately drawn in; why is someone giving their 8-month old a bottle?, I wondered. So I asked him, realising immediately that my tone was subtley judgmental. Indeed it was and I regret it. His answer was that their son had been unwilling to drink formula but was now drinking milk, a relief to them. Aware that I was on dangerous, nosey ground, I pressed on: why were you giving him formula? Because he was slightly underweight.
Slightly underweight? I really wanted to pipe up. Breastmilk is all a baby needs! Underweight is a matter of opinion! Formula is just a sugary drink pushed on the medical system by a powerful pharmaceutical lobby! But I said none of those things and stuck to, Hadley was also underweight briefly and now look at her.
And here's where I start to doubt myself. Two days ago I posted my interest in writing a book. The response to that post (not here but on a link I uploaded to my Facebook page) was so varied and skeptical that I have to rethink my plans. Of course not everyone is interested in Attachment parenting. How to talk about my experience as a father without sounding prescriptive and condescending? Maybe I should research more books first.
No, Hadley was never given formula, though a nurse at the hospital tried to peddle it to us. It is a Health Canada policy and position that breastfeeding is THE way to feed infants, up to the age of 3 or more. Formula is not to be encouraged by any health care professional unless the child is severely undernourished. We were lucky; Hadley took to the breast pretty quickly and Alicia produced milk almost right away. Since then, to be sure, Hadley has never stopped wanting to nurse but all children choose to stop at some point. A friend, whose son is a could years older than Hadley, recently told me she was getting worried when he was nursing past his 3rd birthday. Will it ever end? Maybe he's the exception to the rule, she thought. But no, he one day stopped. Their relationship changed, of course, and this is a big part of it, too. Nursing can be exhausting, painful and inconvenient, but it a bond like no other. Mom and child are reluctant to dismiss that early on.
I couldn't just launch into this diatribe at work, though. He didn't seem interested in my opinion and advice. Yet something in me feels it's important to provide supportive education to new parents. I know I needed it and still do. I just wish I could do it without sounding like a jackass.

a typical autumn evening

It's been so great hanging out with Hadley lately. Not that I didn't enjoy her company before but these days we really whoop it up.
Last night when I came home from work, she was in the midst of a whine-fit and was giving her Amma - Alicia's mom - a rough go of it. But as soon as I walked in she smiled and we gave each other that look which meant, 'tonight's gonna be awesome!'. Veggie burgers (her favourite, pronounced 'veggie buddha') and yummy fresh potatoes out of the garden. Rolling around on the living room floor, tickling and giggling. Trying on new outfits and then trying to dress the cat up. These are our evenings.
Then Hadley spotted Walter, our neighbour, in his front yard and desperately wanted to visit him. We put on our sweaters and ran to greet him. Uma was there, too, Walter's 6-year old daughter and Hadley's idol. And that was pretty much the evening made for us. Hadley and Uma played for another couple of hours until Hadley was too exhausted to stand.
The end.

Calling all dads

I've been thinking about writing a book for a few months now. The subject would, of course, be about parenting form a father's perspective. What I have to ask myself is: aren't there enough Dad books out there? Would I just be looking for a quick buck like Paul Reiser?
Thing is, as I may have written long ago, there really isn't a whole lot available for the father (or other parent) who chooses Attachment-style parenting, who considers himself a feminist and who wants to explore views alternative to the standard paradigm.
I'll give you an example. Most of my dad friends share the notion that co-sleeping is a positive way to handle bedtime in the family. We don't condone cribs but have found co-sleeping satisfactory to our beliefs in the value of the mother-child relationship.
Within the bounds of books on motherhood, the debate is vigorous and despite the prevailing attitude form the medical system that co-sleeping is dangerous, the matter is far from settled. Moms argue from the gut and I think we ought to listen. Books are published all the time that support both sides of the argument but traditional (by which I mean, 1000-yr old) methods are becoming more and more accepted as doctrine, thankfully.
Now look at the debate amongst fathers. It's not enough that fathers and mothers must hold their discussions separately - as if we are not the same family raising the same child - but fathers simply don't hold these discussions. Or rather, it sure seems that way when I do internet searches or go to the library. By contrast, in person we are very much committed to exploring parenting styles and want to join the fray. But if fathers aren't learning from books, and are perhaps cut off from their partners because of ages-old gender imbalance, who do they learn from? Peers and elders. And I have no doubt that both lean more towards 50s-style parenting, e.g. breastfeeding is not essential, co-sleeping will ruin the sex life, children must learn independence, etc.
I don't want to dismiss these views outright. Instead, I want to introduce an arena where fathers - and mothers and same-sex couples - can hash out the details and really learn about child-rearing philosophy. There are centuries of superstition and outdated models to discard and we need to start now.
So...send me your ideas, your opinions. Who wants to co-sleep in my book bed?